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Location: British Columbia, Canada

Yeah. I got nothin.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Stolen!

Yeah, I scammed this here meme from Maine. So here we go:

1) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 24 and find line 5:

Yeah, I've got no excuses for the typos any more. That's right, pg 24, line five reads:
-DERIVATIVES aloofness n.
Hey, I'm a student. I kinda need that dictionary next to the computer.

2) Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, what do you find?

That I still don't know left from right. Or lots and lots of air, take your pick.

3) What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Big comfy couch. That show seems to always be on. Funny, that.

4) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

My fridge, the train, the skytrain, oddly enough, nothing from the stripclub....my bad; the strip club commotion, and Wolf Parade, This Heart's On Fire. I have a soft spot for any song I can actually remember the lyrics for, and "This heart's on fire, this hearts on fire, this hearts on fire, this hearts on fire, this heart's on fire, this heart's..." is just about right for shit that'll fit in my memory.

5) When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

Let us never speak of today again. Or yesterday. Or the day before. Hell week, that's what.

6) Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

Um, this survey, at Maines. Stupid question, dont'cha think?

7) What are you wearing?

A tank top, scrubs, bunny slippers, and an eight hundred year old terry cloth bathrobe.
The usual.

8) Did you dream last night?

Right. Crunch week. I only wish I had time to dream.
Why am I still awake again?

9) When did you last laugh?

Seriously, people can remember this shit? You need to laugh more.
Either something I read on a blog struck me as hilarious, or some wingnuttery struck me as absurd, or my daughter existed, and was either awake, or asleep, or the cat walked into a wall, or I actually managed to open a bottle of wine All By Myself, and was giddy with delight at my bottle-opening skills, or someone, somewhere, said something, or a song started playing that I forgot existed, or I unexpectedly caught a glimpse of my scrawny-ass chicken legs in a mirror...

10) What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Oddly enough, nothing. I've lived here four years, and my livingroom/diningroom has nothing on the walls. The really strange thing is that people don't notice until they've been here at least 20 times. Then suddenly, it dawns on them....somethings missing here.

11) Seen anything weird lately?

Yeah, actually, I forgot about this until now: On the skytrain today, this guy sits next to me. He's got some problems, and is swearing loudly at his cell phone and newspaper (no one's on the phone, he's just swearing in its general direction.) Thing is, there was this family across from us with two boys, one's about five, the other maybe eight. Now here's the weirdness - neither one of the boys so much as bats an eye, or even glances in this guys direction. He's three feet away from them, screaming obscenities, and they don't even notice.
Now that's weird.

12) What do you think of this quiz?

It's a quiz?

13) Where did this question disappear to, and how did I make it vanish like that? A.K.A., Something about movies?

Right. My DVD players broken. My VCRs broken. There's no way I'm paying thirty bucks for a babysitter so I can go somewhere with uncomfortable seats and no smoking.
So last movie I saw was probably something on TBS, which means it was probably Jerry McGuire. Seriously, how can you make money off a channel that plays Jerry McGuire, and nothing but Jerry McGuire, 24/7?

14) If you turned into a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy in the morning?

Coffee and a pack of smokes. But I'd get them.....Delivered. Oh yeah, that's the life.

15) Tell me something about you that I don't know.

I tell pretty much everyone, pretty much anything about myself. Does that meet requirement for an answer?

16) If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt and politics, what would you do?

Oh, my answers here are so done. Fuck that, just cause it ain't gonna happen, I'm gonna ditch out on all the usuals, and say I'd make everyone out of bubble gum, and take a bite out of any fucker that's pissed me off. Wait, that's a little overboard, isn't it? Okay, I'd make Paris Hilton work for a living. Just for shits and giggles.

17) Do you like to dance?

Define dance. I'm like Ellen Degeneres on the floor....Ellen with a broken leg, that is. Wait, yeah, I love it.

18) George Bush.

Fuck you.

19) Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

I think I shall call it The Kid.

20) Imagine your boyfriend is making sweet love to his Xbox 360, what would you do?

Back away slowly, a little concerned about the possible repercussions of having chosen this great timing to have gone out and got myself commitmentified, and definitely worried about the fact that, up until I read this question, I seem to have no memory of this alleged "boyfriend". Then I back away faster.

21) Would you ever consider living abroad?

Wait, you sayin' someone told you bout the Secret-secret-Sweden Mission? Now you gotta die, mofo.

22) What would you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?

"Way to go, asshole, thought you were so smart not believing in me and all, didn't ya? Well, sucks to be So Very Wrong, doesn't it? Ha!...............No, seriously though, you were right. I don't exist. Had you fooled for a minute there, didn't I? Yeah, that was fun. Okay, well, I'd say 'See ya later', but you're in for a hella-long dirtnap, now aren't you? Well, good luck with that!"

5 Comments:

Blogger Maine said...

If you turned me into bubble gum, I'd be making bubbles out of my body parts and screwing around like Plastic Man all day.

Showering would be a bitch though. I'd be all sticking to the floor and shit...

3/24/2006 8:59 AM  
Blogger Boo! said...

Run to church! No, wait...

3/24/2006 11:51 PM  
Blogger Impulsivecompulsive said...

Maine: You have a point. And that totally screws with my dream. I might not me so keen on chomping on unbathed bubblegum.

Erica: Okay! No, wait (again)..

3/25/2006 9:21 AM  
Blogger PornStar said...

ha ha...how are you feeling? And surprised you didn't pass it on ha ha

3/28/2006 9:18 PM  
Blogger Impulsivecompulsive said...

Pornstar: I'm following the trend of not passing this one on. But go nuts on it if you want too.
And I still feel as good as you can with a broken rib. It hurts, but not up to my standards of what I feel like a broken bone ought to feel like. Worse than if it wasn't broken, better than it should be.

3/31/2006 10:41 AM  

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