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Location: British Columbia, Canada

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Friday, July 29, 2005

My Bod

I'm going through a phase where I love my body. Quite often, I see those little twenty year olds with their skin tight, size zero clothes, and I think, Yup, I gotta tone up this booty. And deal with these kid roosts. (You know the ones, they're good for carrying kids, laundry baskets, anything that needs an upper hip hitch not to drop to the ground.)
But lately, those perky little thangs at the school/mall/beach don't do that to me. For some reason, everytime I catch sight of one, it brings out the Amazon Warrior in me. I just want to rip my shirt up, expose one breast, grab my bow and arrow, jump on my stallion (hehe, I said stallion), and go hunt me some deer. Then maybe hook up with Artemis for some bacon double cheese deers and a couple of pints on the nearest patio, my one exposed breast, still glorious post-breast feeding and deliciously large nippled, basking in the sunlight.
Hell, I'm 5'10''. If that doesn't qualify me to be an Amazon, I don't know what does.

I don't really know how much of Greek mythology is common knowledge, so if I've confused anyone, Artemis is the Goddess of the hunt, and protectress of the Amazon warriors, an all woman tribe of warriors who kicked some serious ass, and looked good doing it. With one breast out.

2 Comments:

Blogger Brando said...

I'm glad to hear that you're feeling what we're seeing.
Would it be rude, indecent, or just plain gross if I walked around with one ball hanging out?

7/30/2005 10:21 AM  
Blogger Impulsivecompulsive said...

Brando, so sorry my dear, it just wouldn't have the same effect (affect?). Now if you could come up with a mythological tribe which all wandered around with one ball exposed, maybe you could pull it off.
Until then, I'd go with d: all of the above.
Hey, the double standard's gotta work in my favour somehow!

7/30/2005 11:02 AM  

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