Don't Mind Me

But I'm tuckered and cranky. Too much water park, too many kids, and a long weekend pretty much did me in.

Still, the guilt over the lack of posting is getting to me. I'm planning, I'm plotting, I'm putting it all together. My head's compiled an assortment of goods; Umoja, nekkid boobs, that old porn standby, Harper's general ass-fuckery of me and mine, and the joys of compound interest acting against you.

So about those nekkid boobs: Amongst my peers, we've been complacent in the notion that, Harper or no Harper, at least we'll not be fully Americanized as long as we can strut our stuff with our nipples basking in the sunlight. (I think I've talked about nipple-basking somewhere before. I guess I'm just a big fan of the Basking Nipples, me.)

Lounging in the park this weekend, a bitter truth was fed:
Women's nipples are not, after all, allowed to bask free.

We discovered this after a woman who had previously been sunbathing topless was 'asked' by the local police to put a shirt on. She complied, all went on as before, less some expanses of flesh.
Except for our confusion of course. "Shirts? Legal? Necessary? Didn't that one go straight out the window a couple of years ago?"

Turns out even the police couldn't confirm that without some troubles. One officer was kind enough to scour through the annals of Canadian legislation and found that it is, indeed, still illegal to go topless.

Still confused.
Then what the hell have we been celebrating all this time?
So today, Shadow did some internet-legwork, and rustled up an article which said that the matter has been dropped as criminal, and is now up to provincial or municipal jurisdiction.

Here's the fun part: The part where I don't have to post....

I took a peek at that article, which was posted at the REALity: REAL Women of Canada.

I like that name for a group. REAL Women. "Real." It's got a nice ring to it, not to mention being exceedingly useful for political causes. When ever anyone disagrees with you, just let people know that they ain't real. Or a least not "REAL."

Of course, I'm a little confused as to what that would make me, in their eyes. A man? But no, they're there for men's rights. They love their men, much more than they could possibly give a flying fuck about themselves. They certainly wouldn't be putting down the gender by lumping such nasties like me in with them.

Maybe I'm just....not real. A figment of your imagination.

Warning: if you are reading this post right now, you are FUCKING INSANE. Get thee to a mental institution for immediate attention. Ask, no Demand, your right to a lobotomy, for if there's anything more dangerous then a lunatic who's hearing voices and/or reading non-existent blog pages, it's a lunatic who's hearing left-leaning, single-mother, feminist voices or reading the blog pages of said.

So, my lovely little nutbars, this would be worthy of a post, would it not? Of course! The pages have been bookmarked and mental notes on complete hypocrisy made.
(Brief aside: Here's a good game: find my favourite hypocrisy - it's a little contradiction between the "Topless" article and the "Our View" section.)
Then, I hit the news for some dope to knock me out for the night.

And what do you think I found? That's right: no need for me to be writing this imaginary tidbit on my imaginary blog, because Heather Mallick has been kind enough to do it for me.

So everyone put your (potentially imaginary) hands together in a big round of applause for Heather! You won't see me giving up my day job any time soon!

Read on: Attack on feminism hurts women here and overseas, by Heather Mallick.

Heck, she even fits in that bit on breast smooshing that I'd previously forgotten that I'd pre-previously planned to eventually post about.

Once I got around to actually posting anything again.
Which will happen.
Someday.

Until then, I'm going to bed.