On Crankiness
Or
Who Put the P in PMS
Who ever the fuck thinks that women are cranky before their periods haven't met me on day one. Cause ain't nothin' compared to bloated, yucky, and unwilling to do anything that doesn't involve maim and kill. Find a high place, somewhere safe, and you'll see my teeth sink into the rump of whomever has pissed me off, growling and snarling, spittle flying and jaws grinding.
Went to the Quay for coffee with Erica. Ran into a friend who I haven't seen for a year, who manages to happen across me while I'm feasting on a chicken panini, first thing I've eaten since Thursday. Trying to carry on a conversation with sauce dribbling down my chin, and herbs from the foccacia liberally adorning the spaces between my teeth.
Meanwhile, my phone's still jingling away, as psycho stalker ain't leaving good enough alone. Listened to one of the messages, apparently he's confused my number with that of another Impulsive (same name), as he referred to "last night." Either that or he's really gone off the deep end. Feel sorry for the girl, I mean, eight calls in one hour? Not a good first impression, that.
Headed down to London Drugs to stock up on feminine hygiene products. London Drugs is having a closing out sale. Everything is on sale....Except tampons. Ever heard "got you by the balls?" I guess London Drugs believes in "Got you by the uterus." Fuckers.
Get home, and turns out the jeans which I picked up off the floor and threw on before heading out the door had a chocolate in the back pocket. I was sitting in those puppies. Right on the chocolate. Double fuck.
Who Put the P in PMS
Who ever the fuck thinks that women are cranky before their periods haven't met me on day one. Cause ain't nothin' compared to bloated, yucky, and unwilling to do anything that doesn't involve maim and kill. Find a high place, somewhere safe, and you'll see my teeth sink into the rump of whomever has pissed me off, growling and snarling, spittle flying and jaws grinding.
Went to the Quay for coffee with Erica. Ran into a friend who I haven't seen for a year, who manages to happen across me while I'm feasting on a chicken panini, first thing I've eaten since Thursday. Trying to carry on a conversation with sauce dribbling down my chin, and herbs from the foccacia liberally adorning the spaces between my teeth.
Meanwhile, my phone's still jingling away, as psycho stalker ain't leaving good enough alone. Listened to one of the messages, apparently he's confused my number with that of another Impulsive (same name), as he referred to "last night." Either that or he's really gone off the deep end. Feel sorry for the girl, I mean, eight calls in one hour? Not a good first impression, that.
Headed down to London Drugs to stock up on feminine hygiene products. London Drugs is having a closing out sale. Everything is on sale....Except tampons. Ever heard "got you by the balls?" I guess London Drugs believes in "Got you by the uterus." Fuckers.
Get home, and turns out the jeans which I picked up off the floor and threw on before heading out the door had a chocolate in the back pocket. I was sitting in those puppies. Right on the chocolate. Double fuck.
posted by Impulsivecompulsive | 4:37 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home