Crank Magnet
Something about being cranky just makes me a magnet for additional crank-factors.
Family's off to Mexico next week. Yup, that'd be everyone but me. (Well, no, that'd be about 20% of the family, but what ev.)
Anyway, they've spent the last two weeks arguing over who gets to break the news to me: while they're gone, I get to watch the cat.
And this ain't just any cat. This is the fattest, the stupidest, the most annoying cat in existence. And him and Satan's Cat, they hate each other. They're like yin and yang.
Him: fat. stupid. slow. succeeds through brute force.
Satan's Cat: tiny. wiley. speed demon. believes revenge is a dish best served cold.
Oh yeah, and the best part: he's on dialysis. What the fuck am I going to do with a cat on dialysis?
If that fat fuck dies while he's here, he's going straight down the garbage chute.
Family's off to Mexico next week. Yup, that'd be everyone but me. (Well, no, that'd be about 20% of the family, but what ev.)
Anyway, they've spent the last two weeks arguing over who gets to break the news to me: while they're gone, I get to watch the cat.
And this ain't just any cat. This is the fattest, the stupidest, the most annoying cat in existence. And him and Satan's Cat, they hate each other. They're like yin and yang.
Him: fat. stupid. slow. succeeds through brute force.
Satan's Cat: tiny. wiley. speed demon. believes revenge is a dish best served cold.
Oh yeah, and the best part: he's on dialysis. What the fuck am I going to do with a cat on dialysis?
If that fat fuck dies while he's here, he's going straight down the garbage chute.
posted by Impulsivecompulsive | 5:48 PM
1 Comments:
Someone should tell them that vet's will board animals while their owners are on vacation.
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