On Cooking and Chaos
So after having realized that my bank account is hyperventilating, and my wallet is rapidly running dry, I came to that most hated conclusion of the semester: I'm gonna have to start eating at home. And cooking up that shit myself. Did a quick inventory of the food supply, which consisted of one lonely piece of decomposing Chilean chicken and cornbread pie (courtesy of the parents), random inexplicable tupperware containers filled with green fluff, and eight odd, lettuce-shaped objects which insist on singing "Mr. Sandman" to me every time I open the fridge.
Figured if I gotta cook it, and eat it, I should first buy it, then get this home cooking thing started with a bang. Cook up the one cheap and edible thing I can make, other than turkey dinner (not cheap), and cheesecake (not edible-I fucking hate cheesecake). Yup, it's time to rock it with some enchiladas con calabasitas. Fuckin' a, I make a great veggie enchilada. Got the grocs, hit the stove, started frying up the onion and garlic, tossed in the spices, went to cut up the veggies....went to cut up the veggies....went to cut up the veggies....fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck a duck. Who the hell forgets to buy veggies when making veggie enchiladas?
This is why I don't cook. I am cursed. Seriously. The only one I know who's ever one upped me in the cooking fiasco department is my old roommate, who once set fire to the kitchen, boiling water for tea.
So....we improvise. Figure I'll make the enchiladas tomorrow, and toss some rotini on to boil. Mix it up with the previously fried onion and garlic, throw in some corn, add as much of the jack cheese as I can spare, and serve it up.
The Kid takes one look at it, and is suddenly giddy with excitement. "Mommy! This is good! Can I have some for daycare tomorrow? Please, please, please?"
So it is proven: I can successfully feed my own child.
Course, on tasting it, I realized it was pretty much half-fried onion and garlic held together with half cooked starch, but hey, we can't win 'em all, now can we?
Nope.
Besides, who ever said food had to be edible?
Figured if I gotta cook it, and eat it, I should first buy it, then get this home cooking thing started with a bang. Cook up the one cheap and edible thing I can make, other than turkey dinner (not cheap), and cheesecake (not edible-I fucking hate cheesecake). Yup, it's time to rock it with some enchiladas con calabasitas. Fuckin' a, I make a great veggie enchilada. Got the grocs, hit the stove, started frying up the onion and garlic, tossed in the spices, went to cut up the veggies....went to cut up the veggies....went to cut up the veggies....fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck a duck. Who the hell forgets to buy veggies when making veggie enchiladas?
This is why I don't cook. I am cursed. Seriously. The only one I know who's ever one upped me in the cooking fiasco department is my old roommate, who once set fire to the kitchen, boiling water for tea.
So....we improvise. Figure I'll make the enchiladas tomorrow, and toss some rotini on to boil. Mix it up with the previously fried onion and garlic, throw in some corn, add as much of the jack cheese as I can spare, and serve it up.
The Kid takes one look at it, and is suddenly giddy with excitement. "Mommy! This is good! Can I have some for daycare tomorrow? Please, please, please?"
So it is proven: I can successfully feed my own child.
Course, on tasting it, I realized it was pretty much half-fried onion and garlic held together with half cooked starch, but hey, we can't win 'em all, now can we?
Nope.
Besides, who ever said food had to be edible?
posted by Impulsivecompulsive | 6:39 PM
2 Comments:
I can make a MEAN bowl of Raisin Bran (not the Kellog variety though, as off-brands are way cheaper).
Raisin Bran, hey? Does that constitute a balanced diet, you know, for The Kid and all? It's got raisins, it's got bran, that oughtta cut it...
That's it, fuck the enchilada's, from now on out, it's Raisin Bran around these parts.
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